Priceless
by tenkage onna
Summary: Jing, king of bandits, has been transported and is stuck, in the world of saiyuki. not that he's complaining, what with a new priceless treasure to steal. crossover


HI! i'm back, aint that great?(crickets chirping) okaaay ;; anyway, this is a combo of saiyuki and king of bandit jing, though it takes place in saiyuki. its got some humor, but not much.

warnings- yaoi, hinted lemon, blood, mpreg, self hating thoughts.

reasons- cause this has been rotting in my brain for the last two or three years.

pairing- goku/jing O.o yeah, i know.

summery- jing and kir accidentally fall through a portal that leads them into the world of ancient china. while there, jing hears about the sanzou party, and their highly coveted scroll. but when he goes to steal the scroll, he meets a group of people that dont fit their rumors very well, and begins to have strange feelings for the youngest(or should i say oldest?) member of the group. watch jing try to steal a scroll all the while being interrupted by random people, and have a love sick boy and girl chase him throughout the chapters.

disclaimer- i down own ANYTHING. only the plot and the bad humor, but the humor i dont even own! dont sue or take this off, or i'll make you sorry!

enjoy my disturbed readers! O

It was a rather hot day in Jing's world, and the sun bared down on the boy's head as he walked through a desert. The bird on his shoulder seemed to be panting while waving warm air into his face with his wings. Jing sighed in exhaustion, his face red and sweaty from the heat. He had his sleeves pulled up, revealing bare flesh for the sun to burn. Kir, who sat on his shoulder, had removed the bandanna he usually wore and seemed to be having a hard time breathing.

"Jing," the bird panted, "How long till the sun sets...?"

The boy turned his silverish coal colored eyes towards the sun, wincing when the rays hit him in the eyes. It was barely past noon. He sighed again, clearly dismayed. At this Kir seemed to lose the barely hidden hope in his eyes, and groaned tiredly before crying.

"How long is this stupid thing?! Deserts aren't supposed to be this long!" The bird cried out, sniffling pathetically.

Jing didnt respond for a moment before reaching into his coat and pulling out a map. On it was a large yellow streak with a red circle going around the name of a city. According to this, Jing mused, we're not even half way there. The bird seemed to notice this to, and continued to cry. Jing put the map away with a dissapointed look on his face before turning to look at Kir.

"Dont waste precious water Kir, who knows how long we'll be here." He reprimanded lightly.

Kir stopped immediately, the thought of dying from dehydration bringing back common sense to his heated brain. Jing closed his eyes for a moment while continuing to walk. How long had it been? How long had it been since the last town they stopped in? Three days... Jing thought, and we're not even halfway there yet. He barely noticed the sting of heat around him until Kir was yelling in his ear.

"JING! What the hell do you think your doing?! Stop walking!"

Jing stopped, and opened his eyes tiredly, only to have them widen in horror as he noticed the glowing purple around him and the exit a small hole with a glimpse of desert. He tried to run, but he was stuck, and before he could register it, he was sinking into the now oozy purple, Kir already long gone. He thrashed about, not thinking as he sank deeper. He grabbed at anything he could but when he touched the ground his hand became stuck, and soon he was up to his neck in purple goo. Jing struggled until nothing could be seen of him.

"Sanzo! Harraheta!" A voice whined noisily from the backseat.

The blond monk resisted the urge to whack the boy behind him, and replied irritably,"Your always hungry, why should this be any different?"

"But Sanzo!"

"Urusai!"

THWACK

A mumbled oww was heard but, when Goku saw a glimpse of white paper he shut up quickly, fearing another thwack of that evil paper fan. The boy frowned as he looked around himself. They were still in the desert, and according to Hakkai they were far from any civilization. With that knowledge, he became depressed and sulked into his seat in the back of the jeep. There was nothing for miles, and the lack of food was making him agitated. All he could do was try and be quiet, and hopefully they'd reach a town before he lost control and screamed from the silence. If only there was something to do...

Suddenly the jeep swerved a quick right, skidding to a stop. The occupants of the jeep were thrown left, right, forward, and finally backwards. A loud curse was heard from three of the members, a gasp from the one behind the wheel. Gojyo sat up and leaned over into the front seat, and gave Hakkai a glare.

"What was that for Hakkai?! I coulda been killed!"

The green eyed man said nothing, simply pointed in front of the jeep. Laying there was a boy and a bird, coated in sand and burns. The group stared for a moment before Goku hopped out over the side of the jeep, Gojyo following the action. The two walked cautiously towards the body, and Gojyo carefully poked it with his foot. Goku on the other hand, knelt beside it and poked it curiously.

"Oi, saru! Dont be so reckless! Do you wanna lose your arm?" Gojyo demanded, voice slightly nervous.

Goku looked up and glared, "Na, I'm not gonna lose my arm ero kappa! Worry about yourself! And dont call me saru!"

"I'll call you saru if I want, bakazaru!"

"I said dont call me that ero kappa!"

"Bakazaru!"

"Ero kappa!"

"Bakazaru!"

"Ero-"

BANG!!

Both males parted as a bullet flew past them, missing the boy on the ground by mere inches. The two looked at Sanzo, who was pointing his gun at them threateningly. Everything was quiet save for the near silent breathing of the mysterious boy. Then...

"You stupid monk! You coulda shot us!" The red haired man yelled angrily.

"URUSAI!"

BANG, BANG!!!

Again the group was quiet. Only the sound of near silent breathing. Hakkai ran over to the three and began to turn the boy around, looking at the face in slight surprise. It was a kid, with a burnt face. His eyes were closed, and sand clung to his hair, face, and eyebrows in clumps. He wore a heavy looking yellow trench coat, soaked through with sweat and a purple goo. Under that was a black tank top and baggy black pants, certainly not good clothing to wear in the desert, Hakkai mused. His skin was burnt, red and purple with a few blisters. His chest rose and fell with difficulty. Next to him was a bird, covered in singed feathers and purple goop. It looked like it would live, Hakkai mused. Perhaps it was the child's pet?(XDD more the other way around) Sanzo walked up behind the green eyed healer and grunted, as if acknowledging his presence.

"Lets get him cleaned up and fixed. We'll drop him off at the next village." The blond monk muttered before turning away.

The three demons blinked at such uncharacteristic behavior, but nodded all the same. Hakkai set to work, healing the burns and brushing away clumped sand. He removed the coat only to find not only burns, but rashes. Most circled around his right arm, burning red on pale skin. Soon, the boy was healed, and only the bird remained. He took no time at all, though the feathers were slightly irritating. When the green eyed man was finished, he picked up the boy and instructed Goku to pick up the bird. Soon they were back in the jeep and flying towards the next town. About a half an hour later found Goku staring in mild interest at the boy who was propped up against the back of the jeep, watching as his chest rose and fell evenly.

"Oi, how'd he get all those burns anyway?" Goku asked curiously.

"I'm not sure. Perhaps he got dehydrated?" Hakkai mussed thoughtfully.

"Then why did he have that purple crap on him?" Gojyo asked, the pure bordem of the whole day finally getting to him.

Hakkai stopped to think, lifting a hand to cup his chin thoughtfully."I'm not sure Gojyo. I'm really not sure."

Gojyo shrugged and sat back against the hot leather seats. The boy next to him seemed peaceful, as if the heat wasn't ripping at his exposed skin. Strange, he seemed to much at ease just sitting there calmly, eyes shut gently. Almost as if he was awake.

"...He smells funny."

"What?" Gojyo asked, face twisted in a weirded out expression.

Goku was looking at the boy, nose close to his skin. The saru looked up, face blank."He smells funny. Like metal...or wine...or...or--"

"Goku, please stop sniffing our guest. I'm sure he doesn't like it." Hakkai reprimanded lightly."Isn't that right sir?"

A smile appeared on the boy's face, and he responded in a amused voice."So you noticed, eh?"

Gojyo and Goku jumped back, startled by the voice. Hakkai let out a soft laugh.

"Of course I noticed. Your posture was too tense for you to be asleep." The healer replied.

The boy opened one eye and looked at the man's head before sitting up carefully and opening his other eye. He glanced at his body and found it healed, much to his amazement. Hakkai noted the surprised look on the boy's face and calmly explained.

"I healed you. You were covered in burns."

The boy looked up and blinked, "Really now? Interesting."

"Yeah, Hakkai is really good at that kinda stuff!" Goku piped up, excited to find entertainment.

"Quiet down saru, your to loud!" Gojyo exclaimed.

Goku looked at him with a glare and stuck out his tung, "Shut it ero kappa! Your no better."

The boy looked between them and raised an eyebrow, "Uh, am I interrupting something?"

Goku looked at the boy with a confused look, "No, why?"

Gojyo let his eye twitch at the comment, "No."

"SO, whats your name?" Hakkai interrupted cheerfully.

The boy looked back at the green eyed man, "Hmm? Oh, Jing. Nice to meet you."

Gojyo held back a laugh and Goku openly commented, "Jing? What a weird name. Like jingle bells!!"

Jing let his head fall down to a sulk and resisted the urge to smack the boy. Sanzo rolled his eyes, "And yours is any better saru?"

Goku instantly flared up, "I'm notta monkey!!"

"Sure your not, saru." Gojyo commented.

"At least I'm notta perverted red cockroach!"

"How do you figure I'm a cockroach? Huh?!"

"You have anttena!"

"I do not! They're hair!"

"Then why do the twitch like antenna?"

"They dont! Its just the wind!"

Jing watched them in a strange sort of amusement, wondering why they were calling each other such strange names. Perhaps they were their names? Nah, he had heard that man, Hakkai address the saru boy as Goku. So, there was Hakkai, Goku, and who were the other two? His thoughts were cut in half as a thick thwack was heard, and a pained whine. Jing looked up to see a blond man leaning over his seat up front, holding a white paper fan and glaring angrily at the two who sat next to him on either side.

"Shut UP!! Its to damn hot and I'm to tired to listen to you idiots argue!" Sanzo yelled, smacking the two upside the head once more for good measure.

Goku cradled his achy head, "Na sanzo! That hurt, Gojyo started it!"

"What?! I did not!" The redhead cried, defending himself.

"URUSAI!" Another painful smack was heard and Jing soon learned one thing.

Never, never ever EVER irritate this, Sanzo. Not if you valued your skull.

So, Jing mused, we have Gojyo, Goku, Hakkai, and Sanzo... Doesn't sound like they're from here. Waitaminute. Here? Where was here? He'd been all over the world, and not once did he see someone with those clothes or accents! That must mean... he wasn't in HIS world! Promptly after thinking this, Jing fainted. Which also earned him weird looks.

hows THAT for a first chapter? huh? huh? XDD i wanted to write this for the longest time ne. like since forever. soooo, i hope you enjoyed that.

translations:

harraheta: "i'm hungry!"

urusai: shut up

oi: hey

saru: monkey

ero kappa: perverted water sprite, pervy water monster

bakazaru: stupid monkey

and theres ya go.


End file.
